BEYOND THE PEN | A Journey Into Like Sunrise {Next}
Before I had any concept of what the album would be, I wanted to write an "I've been wronged" breakup anthem. Queens love breakup anthems, as they help us cope with our tendency to date shitty people, and listening to the right track can effectively give you your sense power back. Only problem was, I hadn't truly lived the experience at the time I started writing this song, so it was coming from a generic place. Heartbreak is real. That shit hurts. It was imperative that I find out what that felt like for the song to ever be meaningful. So, I fell in love. And while I never enter relationships with the end in sight, I know my track record, and I'm easily persuaded into dating people who somehow convince me they are everything, when in reality they are trash. I subconsciously knew that falling in love with trash would, at the very least, provide me with a story to tell. Songwriters love stories.
Post heartbreak, I revisited the original, generic lyrics I drafted for this tune and sang them over a beat from my dear friend, Mena. Lyrics slowly started evolving as the editing process took over me. I cut out what didn't feel authentic, and put more effort into showcasing my potential for pettiness--because I can be the queen of petty when properly pissed off. Like many of my original tunes, this song was my therapy. I used it to remind myself of my worth, and performing it has been beyond empowering. There are still so many words in this track, but while editing, I wanted the song to feel simple, relatable, and contain lots of repetition--a mantra of sorts. When reflecting on my situation, I had to tell myself I was "over it." The truth? I wasn't over anything. I was dwelling on the past for that exact reason: I wasn't "over it." But I needed to be. When you say something enough times, you will internalize it, believe it, breathe it, and swear by it...so finally, after singing this song in venues all over the US, I am over it. The deuces are finally forever chucked, and I am now unable to give any fucks. Thanks to music, I have long since moved on to the next... but I still get excited when I hear the intro...
P.S. Alexis Smith (on trombone) and Anthony Limoncelli (on trumpet) playing the intro in the studio was one of my favorite moments. Thank you forever for sharing your art with the world.
Music by Mena Abebe | Lyrics by Danielle Helena
I'm so fed up with this bullshit
All the lies you always tell
Something told me to be cautious
Not to love you, but I fell
In so deeply, no one saved me
Now I feel like raising hell
So I will...
I’m so over it…(echo)
I'm chucking my deuces, bet
You're so dead to me...I'm on to the next...
Now please don't call me and don't text me
Please delete me from your phone
I'm not down for future meet ups
Boy you've turned my heart to stone
I don't care bout how you love me
I would rather be alone
Than with a boy who always cheats
I'll do better on my own
I’m so over it…(echo)
I'm chucking my deuces, bet
You're so dead to me...I'm on to the next...
You know I'm bold when I'm mad boy
And I mean what I say
It's gonna hurt me to walk but
I'd be a fucking fool to stay
You really don't appreciate me
Though you might give a fuck once I leave
I need someone who values my heart, my needs, my time and all of my being
So for now, the deuces are chucked
I can no longer give any fucks
My time here is done
You're not the one
Don’t return my last text
Boy bye I'm on to the NEXT …