When life gives you lemons...

Did you know that in 2018, humans worldwide will spend an estimated 72.7 billion U.S. dollars on deodorant? NEWS FLASH! YOU ALL PLAYED YOURSELVES...

Let me preface this by first acknowledging my multiple year struggle with finding a non-toxic solution to the moderate stench humans produce periodically as a result of...well, life. I sweat while drinking tea on a Monday afternoon in any weather, and I shouldn't have to poison my armpits in the process. So...I was in search of a product that would allow me to release toxins naturally, but one that was able to kill the bacteria on my skin that then reacts with the sweat causing the foul smell. And honey, when I tell you I feel like I tried ALL THE THINGS--from fancy brands at Whole Foods and Sephora, for all of my dollars, to essential oil concoctions that were far too potent for my pits. So I hit up Google cuz that bitch knows everything, and you know what she said? Use a lemon. A lemon? Yes. A fucking lemon. All this time? Do you know all the money I have wasted on deodorant since middle school? That's so many airline tickets worth of dollars, and I'm hella pissed about it.

So...I tried it once and pretty much never looked back. The rub of a lemon wedge on sweaty pits will produce a fragrance similar to raw honey. Grapefruit seed extract produces a similar scent, but the result is golden pit stains on your favorite top, and ain't nobody got time for that.

How to use:

-Buy or steal a lemon from the earth

-Slice it however you wish

-Rub said slice on both pits either in the morning or whenever you feel sweaty (I prefer this option)

-you're welcome

Tips:

-Avoid rubbing a lemon immediately after shaving cuz ouch

-The healthier the foods you eat, the better you will smell as chlorophyll (the blood of plants) acts as an internal deodorant for our bodies

-pre-juiced lemon works, but it has to stay in the fridge and it stops working after a few days

And I want to quickly shout out the homies who sniffed my pits for this cause...y'all are the real MVPs... kloveyoubye